Quotes and Quotes. [from Facebook archives, written May 19/09]

"When I walked into the jungle", I was seventeen.
When I walked out I was twenty one.
And, by God, I was rich!"
- Ben, Death of a Salesman

And so they've started. Yes, them. On the internet, the radio, on the TV. Yup, that's what I'm talking about. Attack Ads. There's a lot I can say, but I'll leave that for another day. Regardless, they do bring back memories. Ahh. Stephane Dion. Slaughtered by the Cons. Specifically, there's been one phrase that I've been musing in my mind recently...

"Do you think it's easy to make priorities?"- Stephane Dion, Conservative Attack Ad

Yes - we all ridiculed Dion - the public did, the media did, the Cons did, and even Iggy did.
But I think the answer is clear. Is it easy? No. Of course not. There are decisions to be made. Places to go. Programs to choose. People to meet. Friends to make. Tests to prepare. Homework to complete. Money to earn. Music to play. Things to say. Questions to ask. Answers to find. The world ahead.

I'm going to have to quote this* (hmmm I'm really in a quoting mood tonight...)
"There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days." - Lucas, One Tree Hill

Seventeen years old, give or take, stepping into the jungles of the world. And out at age twenty one. Imagine - four more years. Where will we be? Perhaps the bigger question is, Who will we be? These are defining years. It's a transitional time right now - taking that next step in life, starting that new chapter. Ben took his step into his "jungle" - and came out, from rags to riches. But he also defined himself. Is that the person you're seeking?

Here we are - after 12 years of school with the support of family and friends, and our ongoing growth. To quote an earlier note, we're getting ready to emerge from our childhood as the full grown tigers we are - into the world surrounding.

Emerging, we stand on top of the hill - the culmination of our childhood years and accomplishments - and we stare with wonder, a pinch of fear, and a little disbelief, ahead into the vast land that lies before us.

Not that this is our peak. I would certainly hope not. There are mountains ahead that could make our hill... well, a hill. But this is where we are now. And as we march, step by step, towards the mountains ahead, we have decisions to make, problems to settle.

It's never easy to make priorities. But the bottom line is that we must "keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."
- Walt Disney, [featured in] Meet the Robinsons

A beautiful thought. But leaving high school physics, we no longer live in a 2-D world - the reality is beyond moving forward and backwards. Our goals reach in all directions - sometimes we know where we want to go. Other times, we have no idea. However, it's not about the destination, but moreover, the adventure, the journey, the quest - a path never simple.

That's the problem we face now. We've reached the crossroads, yet we don't seem to have the directions. Google Maps can't help us here (at least... not yet...) - it's up to us to map out the road ahead - to make priorities, set our values straight, and walk forward with faith and confidence.

And once our priorities are set straight - we can walk ahead and accomplish our dreams... right? Well, ten seconds after writing that - I'm gonna have to say no.

Because it is so incredibly hard to set our priorities straight. And that's the thing. We never will. It is about the journey, not the destination - and because the journey through life is never a straight path - our priorities are a part of our vital growth and discovery - and like ourselves, they are always growing, always changing. It's a continual struggle to set our priorities and to keep our goals in mind.

Our dreams - or perhaps our realization of the living dream - will come at the end - as long as we can keep moving forward with an open mind - because what we see today is not what we will see tomorrow. We live in a changing world.

"At the end". That's hard to say, to put so much faith into something we can't see. What do we do when we're asked, "What are you building? Lay your hand on it. Where is it?" - Ben.

What we need is everywhere. It's that relationship we share with each other - friendship - "a committed love for the world and every individual." We are blessed with the directions, the maps, the signs - all around us. We're not expected to accomplish this on our own. We're there to help each other on this tough but wonderful journey, the "co/sine graph of life".

And that's something I can depend on.

"Be strong and brave. The Lord your God will go with you. 

He will never leave you. He'll never desert you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

Pause. [Facebook Archives, written June 18/09]

I suppose that through our many years of school, we've been thrust into new ideas, new environments, new friends, and new concepts.

Entering school - teachers, classmates, the need to share, and the slow decline of personal attention that continues with - multiplication tables, cursive writing, the first time use of a calculator, using a computer, lockers!, new teachers, more textbooks, musical instruments, first time use of a scientific calculator, msn, great new friends, cruel "friends", first crush, broken hearts, purple lockers!, volunteering, new hobbies, facebook, culminating, personal struggles, trigonometry, first job, closer friends, and that 18th birthday - legal adulthood.

And now we've been thrust into a new environment. No, I'm not talking about university, but instead the next two months of this summer "break". I put that in quotation marks because, I'm gonna be honest, it doesn't really feel like one, at least, not yet.

Yes, our final series of final exams are done, and a year of hard work has drawn to a close.
Stepping back, it has ended our 4 year journey through high school - ups, downs, all.
And ultimately - this whole escapade of 9 to 4 school life has finished - passing the finish line.

Just like the marathon runner finishing that 42.195 km journey, we're completing our 12 year journey through an assortment of hills - high times, low times - obstacles, competition, different surroundings; and now we pass this finish line. And now, I wonder, now what?

Yes, we've got more races ahead, and yes, I'm looking forward to the years ahead, but at the moment, we're in that time lapse between two races, whether it's the two month break we're on now, or the four year break between two Olympic competitions - it is a "break", a rest from the world.

Hmmmm. The last four years have been a blur. The change, the classes, the growth, the people - and with the sudden end of our poorly scheduled exams - I feel that this wonderful journey has slammed on its brakes and we've stopped. The world seems to slow, and we're left hanging momentarily in the air. Inertia keeps us going, but gravity pulls us down.
Thud - onto the floor - in a state of confusion. Knowingly, the train will start again, but between now and then, the journey pauses.

In this pause, I try to sort out that blur and figure out the joys, the tears, the changes that have happened since boarding this train, since starting this race. Oh when we walked into high school that fated day four years ago, the dreams, the fears, the strategies, the envisioned goals - exactly how have they progressed in this race, exactly what has been done?

Did we accomplish those dreams? Did we change our dreams?
Were our fears real? Did we face our fears?
Did we pull through with our strategies, plans? Did we reach those goals?

The things you thought that would have been accomplished. The new level you thought you would have reached when you turned 18. There have been successes. There have been things done that I never would've imagined four years ago. There have also been failures, and things not done that I would've assumed to be completed by now. Such a blur of events, yet each distinct in laughter and tears.

This "break", this pause - gives us a lot of time to think. A lot of time to reflect. I probably should hibernate over the summer, but sleep doesn't come too easy with a lot to think about.
And who knows when the train will beautifully jerk ahead in life - the gun sounds, and we're off!

But I have begun to flip the perspective from the beginning of this note [this was not written all at once. Actually, with the successions of the changes in tone, you may figure out when I leave the computer].

I put "break" in quotation marks because it is not a break. The last 12 years have been the break - the escape from reality. It's not about the classroom, the textbook, the tests, the projects, the timetable. That has been our escape from reality.

When the athlete runs the race, they become a whole new being - the goals are there, the path is set, and you run your course. That is our school. But then, the marathon ends. The race is over, and regardless of where you've placed, what you've done - you are at the end of that race, and its up to you where to go next.

Compete at the next event? More training? New career? Raise a family? Retire?
At the end of the race - it is not a break. It's reality.
No longer is our path set, written out in front of us. No longer are our goals definite, or even material. We don't aim for that 90 in math, or to complete a paper, or to finish 100 m in 9.69 seconds. No.

We aim for "success", for "happiness", or simply "high", for the best.

That's the reality of it. And though it seems simple, it's not. And that's the struggle.
Because we've spent the last 12 years on a break - on this set course that's drawn out. But when the athlete leaves the track, where and the direction they take, is entirely up to them.

Whether or not we have reached our goals set for this race, whether set 4 years ago, 12 years ago, or 10 minutes before the exam - doesn't really matter anymore. We've moved on from there, and we've now entered this "break", this environment that's open. And we're not used to it. But if there's one thing that we should have picked up from our races, it's that this is a struggle, and taking that step forward, taking action, will guide us - with the help of friends, parents, and the eternal faith that we share with the forces above.

Which brings me to one last problem with this allegory, something so far unmentioned.
We don't run this marathon alone. Perhaps in our blurs of school, we feel alone - but then we're all alone, and thus, we're alone together. Throughout our races, we meet great people. People who share common goals, people who share different beliefs, people of great talent, and people of great inspiration - until we all learn from each other and build each other.

No one runs the marathon alone. You have your friends, your teammates. It's your teammates that encourage each other to do their best in this crazed reality of a race. But when we fall into the reality of the world, and leave the track - that's when the strongest, most powerful friendships stand and bloom - after all, it must be the bond that keeps people together, not the path.

No one runs the marathon alone. You have your competitors, all those around you. But again, you encourage each other to do your best, and the accomplishments are shared. Usain Bolt's Olympic record was more than a victory for him, or a victory for Jamaica - it was a victory for everyone one running with him, and step forward for humans worldwide.

Of course, these are just an assortment of relatively unfiltered thoughts of a slightly drained mind in a semi-lack of sleep post-exam period, and perhaps in a week or so, I'll wake up thinking... what was I thinking? But I suppose that's what I mean by this "break", or this "reality". It's a struggle to understand, and its a struggle to realize what we need to follow.

It's a struggle that keeps us looking forward.
And our dreams? That's something worth struggling for.